Opinions

The Fat Lady's Guide to the Worlds
By Judith - September 21, 2001

Before you go saying " I can't possibly fit on that ride " and miss all the fun, check out the comments below. I am nearly 6 foot tall and about 360 pounds ( I think that's what 140 kilos works out to be, give or take a lump ) and if I can fit in so can you.

There are a few points that will make it easier :
First of all there is one redeeming feature of being .... let's say a little larger than the norm .... and that is that fat moves - as anyone knows who has squeezed into a girdle to flatted a stomach and ended up with a midriff bulge bigger than their boobs. This means that if you wear loose clothing and slowly lower yourself into a ride you will find that you can usually move things around enough to use the belt, harness or bar so don't be put off by the size of the seat of the ride compared to the size of your seat.

Secondly if you are as clumsy as I am enlist the services of someone to help navigate the rides you need to step into or out of. My daughter usually gets into a ride first but doesn't sit down. She guides me in, I sit and she squeezes into what's left. If possible she gets out first and helps me out too.

Thirdly if you are at all unsure if you will fit and can't get a good view of the ride, get someone who is well acquainted with your size to ride first and let you know how much room there is. Remember that unless you want the very first seats in the Rocking Roller Coaster CMs will allow you to sit in any seats that have the most leg room - so ask them when you board. Finally if worse comes to worse and you are stuck fast in a very uncomfortable position and have NO idea how you are ever going to get out when the ride stops - just let it go and enjoy yourself. Bruised knees and bruised ego aside you are in the best place on Earth.

The Magic Kingdom:

WDW Railroad - No problems except when getting on and off. Hint: if you find walking down onto the step a little precarious ( as in "I can't SEE the step" ) get out backwards.

Jungle Cruise - Get a seat where you have back support ( up against the "engine" is good ) and stretch out. If necessary ask the CM to let you wait till the next boat if it looks too crowded for comfort.

Pirates of the Caribbean - A bit hard on the knees so I try to sit sidesaddle to keep the pressure off as much as possible. The sheer joy of sitting in a nice cool boat as opposed to walking around in the heat outside far outweighs the discomfort so join in with the singing, it helps. "Yo Ho, Yo Ho a pirate's life for me" - ( that's the only part I know )

Tiki Birds - another chance to sit in the cool - woo hoo.

Splash Mountain - Tight fit but really good fun. Getting out can be a bit of a pain - especially when your runners are suctioned to the wet floor and you can't get up far enough to get any leverage to pull them loose. Help me, help me, I'm a fat lady with my Nikes stuck to the floor.

Big Thunder Mountain Railway - Couldn't get the bar over my knees but the CM let me ride anyway. I was OK but my daughter had some hairy moments round the corners - those seats are slippery.

Country Bear Jamboree - More sitting and singing - woo hoo.

Tom Sawyer Island - I never got enough courage to ride the barge over to the Island. My God what if it sunk! Or worse listed so badly we just went round in circles .... well you get the idea.

Davy Crockett's Canoes - Are you serious???? See the above entry.

The Haunted Mansion - Miles of leg room and no problems with the lap bar. My daughter gets in first and guides me in, then gets out first and gives me something to hold onto to get out. On a moving walkway this is a great help.

Mike Fink Keelboats - Upstairs looked easier to get into than downstairs. A very funny commentary by the CM made it all worthwhile.

It's a Small World - Another ride that doesn't have much leg room. It IS a small world ... especially for me. Try to ride with little kids and sing along. It gives you more room and makes you feel good at the same time.

Skyway - Unfortunately this is no longer operational. I spent many a long line frantically adding up the weight of all in our party in kilos and trying to convert it to pounds before we reached the gateway ... I was always convinced that we were going to be too heavy and the whole lot would come crashing down. I spent most of the ride looking for soft landing places.

Peter Pan's Flight - I always expect to be too heavy for this but so far so good. I LOVE this ride.

Cinderella's Carousel - Ummm don't think so.

Any Dark Ride - Pick the seat that looks like it has the most leg room and sit sidesaddle. Inform the CM on boarding that you need the whole seat - ignore the moans from the line behind you.

Dumbo - You will need the whole seat but the leg room is great. To avoid being hassled by anklebitters ride on EE days. Don't forget to flap your arms - totally ignore family members that start singing "When I saw an elephant fly".

Mad Tea Party - Not much room, especially if you want to spin the teacups and that is all the fun. My daughter usually gets in first but lets me sit first so I can arrange my legs around the wheel. She spins, I laugh. Try not to fall flat on your face getting out - that door is soooo tiny.

Space Mountain - I have heard that there is more leg room in the back of the seats. I haven't tried the front so I can't compare. Getting out is hard work - this is where family members/friends/CMs and anyone else that is available comes in handy.

AstroOrbiter - Haven't tried it .... yet.

Alien Encounter - So bloody frightened I wouldn't have known if I was uncomfortable or not. When you're the biggest meal in the buffet tight harnesses are the LEAST of your worries.

Buzz Lightyear - Plenty of room. Plenty of fun.

EPCOT:

The only ride I have problems with is Spaceship Earth - not much leg room. Going up the dome is fine because you are being pushed back into your seat and since fat moves you have more room, but going down the other side you are being pushed into the front of the car - another sore knees ride. Test track - Plenty of leg room in the front seat. Explain to the CM you need all the room you can get.

MGM Studios:

Tower of Terror - This is my favourite ride. My record is 11 times in a row. Warn skinny people that sit next to you that the lapbar will sit on your legs but may come nowhere near theirs. Try not to laugh at the expression on their faces when the first drop happens and they rise a foot off their seats.

The Great Movie Ride - No problems.

Rocking Roller Coaster - Plenty of leg room and the harness is comfortable. Getting out involves CM pulling and daughter pushing but I eventually managed it with much giggling and woo-hooing ... from me, they were out of breath.

Star Tours - The further back you sit the higher off the ground the chair. Miles of seatbelt but the seats are narrow. Totally embarrassed my daughter the first time I rode this by yelling out "Oh wow I LOVE this bit" when the fighters go down along the Deathstar.

Animal Kingdom:

Kali River Rapids - Plenty of room and seat belt is fine. The only problem is being the heaviest on the boat GUARANTEES that I get swamped - not just wet but totally swamped - by the biggest wave I have ever seen on a wet ride ... and so does the lucky person beside me! Having twice as much material in my jeans means it takes twice as long to dry out. I sat in my own pond at the Lion King.

Dinosaur Ride - See above for biggest meal in the buffet. No problems with room but when that last dinosaur comes running out ....

Safari Ride - No problems. Just one question - do they velcro the lions to the rock??

And so at the end of the day you make your weary way back to the hotel, with knees of pulp and feet on fire and ease your tired body into a nice hot bath .... at least you know that's one Disney attraction you can get in and out off without problems ... well not too much of a problem .... ahhh ... Kate can you come in here for a minute?