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TourGuideMIKE

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Community > TheMouseForLess Smiles > Disney Jokes

Disney Jokes

 

Nathan Lane (at the Academy Awards) remarking on Disney's marketing skills: Who else could have brought you "Little Mermaid" fish sticks, "The Lion King" push-up bra, "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" backpack, and the "Pocahontas" home pregnancy test"?

 

 

Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!

 

 

Message for your answering machine (using your best Rod Serling imitation) : You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world without time, where sound collides with color and shadows explode. You see a sign post up ahead-- this is no ordinary telephone answering device... You have reached 'The Twilight Phone'.

 

 

Disney World: a people trap operated by a mouse

 

 

Let's take a trip to Disney
Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida. As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World left". After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said "Oh well!" and started driving back home.

 

 

Disney cruise delays

The Top 10 Reasons Disney Delayed Launching Their Cruise Line

1. The 101 Dalmation's "accidents" on Deck 3

2. Room service using Aladdin was getting out of hand.

3. Exterminator killed off "rat" problem only to discover they were Mickey and Minnie's cousins.

4. Drunken dispute between Donald and The Mighty Ducks over who was mightier.

5. Charo kept showing up.

6. The Beast from "Beauty and the Beast" kept eating the midnight buffet.

7. The Seven Dwarfs vandalized the ship after failing to meet the "You Must Be This Tall to Ride This Ride" Requirements.

8. Stench of seawater and 101 Dalmations was too strong.

9. Tour guide Goofy goes into drunken rampage and uses Chip and Dale as Shuffleboard discs.

10. New hires Doc, Isaac, and Gopher quit days before launch,citing that this job is not as "exciting and new" as their last one.

 

 

And the top reason the Disney Cruise was delayed: The crewmen confused Snow White with white snow -- Mike Corbo

 

 

After exhaustive research I have uncovered the original and true meaning of IMHO. It has taken a lot of work searching through dusty archives, trying to read the chicken scratches of 13th century monks but the List needed to know.

IMHO really stands for "I must have oatmeal". It was written on the cell wall of Michael of Langley. He was arrested, tried and convicted for having no hair ( a condition I am rapidly becoming familiar with).

Thanks and I hope you have enjoyed this HSM (Historical Special Moment) -- John J. Buxbaum

 

 

THE TOP TEN SIGNS YOU HAVE AN UNHEALTHY DISNEY OBSESSION

10. You know how many hairs are on the leg of the drunken pirate sitting on the bridge.

9. You have more Disney movies than Blockbuster.

8. Your favorite song is "Zippity-Doo-Dah".

7. When you hear people talking about "the underprivileged", you assume they are referring to those who have to stay off-site.

6. You refer to Wal-Mart and McDonald's employees as "cast members".

5. You've added spires and turrets to the roof of your house.

4. You tried to pay your electric bill with Disney Dollars.

3. Your children's names are Ariel and Alladin.

2. You pray that nobody will ever discover your dirty little secret: That you sneak out of bed in the middle of the night, logon to the internet, and drool over online pictures of WDW.

1. You're reading this.

 

 

My kids love the internet, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.

I noticed their Disney site password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and so I asked why it was so long.

"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."

 

 

Guy explains to his doctor, "Doc, when I got up this morning, I put on a pair of white gloves and started calling my wife Minnie.  Then on the way to work I couldn't help singing, 'Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to work I go,' and when I got there I started calling everyone Happy, Grumpy, Dopey and so on.  What's the matter with me?"

"That's easy," replies the doctor. "You're having Disney spells."

 

 

A TheMouseForLess list member wanted to know how to clear her cache. Mike Corbo had this reply:

Open your wallet, remove all those nasty little green things and mail them to me.

Voila! Your cache has now been cleared.

Of course, Mike did give her the correct instructions for clearing the cache on her computer.

 

 

mickeyhead

Smile!

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